Who? Me??

I'm about to pat myself on the back. Don't get used to it. And if you don't like it don't read on. But I am happy! I started running because it's an easy way for me to lose weight. Before I was pregnant with Avery I would run 4 miles on the treadmill. We had a hard time implating THE seed into my jostled overy, so I slowed down, and concentrated on the elliptical machine. Bam! One month later, I am preggers with Avery! Dave, Will and I are on cloud nine. So forget running, although I know perfectly well you can run (lots) while you are pregnant, I automatically deducted that my body couldn't handle the trama, much less the smell of deoderant.

With Avery, I had gained quite a bit of weight. I could have birthed a five year old! Who cares if I eat 6 donuts! I'll just run it off. A week after Avery was born I jogged around the block with Will. I was serious about getting back to my old self. After the all clear from my ob-gyn I headed to the gym and cried with happiness when I stepped on the treadmill. This honeymoon was short lived - Avery hated me to be any where she wasn't. I didn't want Dave's heart to break every time I left. Plus, this milk-maid is not a copious producer. Even after fenegreek and enough water to pee a lake, I have just enough to pump a bottle - oh, I forgot, she didn't take bottles. So with a freezer of liquid gold, I sat waiting to lace up my running shoes.

This depression was short lived. E-bay and a good friend brought me to my prize Kelty jogging stroller. It is my favorite baby product. After this long introduction, I've used my jogging stroller more often than Avery sat in a high chair. We run together a few times a week. I put on my IPOD and go and go, walking, jogging, sprinting, panting in rainstorms, 103 degree 5pm heat, anything.

Lately, since I was introduced to a favorite friend who happens to be equally obsessive and our very favorite fitness instuctor, I haven't run as much. But we signed up for a charity 5K. So this Lifetime crew and my Nanu headed out together, new race clothes included! I have to admit I am not a competitive person - with other people. I could care less who got first, second, or third. However, I can be extremely competitive with myself - it's not a good thing - I strive for perfection and sometimes I really don't think I can ever be satisfied. But, it is really fun to try!!!

When the race starts I get a little nod from my friend "It's okay to leave me" and off I go. It's a little too fast of a pace, but clausterphobia is at it's highest here and I just gotta go. I find a good spot far away from the mob and in between a really tall man, who I just can't quite squeeze past, and my fitness instructor's 14 year old son. Mile 2, then Mile 3, and I might just crawl the rest of the day. A little attempt to sprint the last 10 yards because Avery and Dave are waiting at the finish line and I am THERE! Done! 3.1 miles, 23 minutes, where's the door prizes?

Dave is so proud and I can't figure out why. Where's the gatorade? Bananas? Chocolate Muffins? Live band? Trapeze Artist? Flame Thrower?

Dave: "Guess what Honey!?!"
Me: "Huh?"
Dave: "You did really good! I think you got first place in your age division."
Me: "Oh, Can you hold my water?"
Dave: "No, really."

Really! It's kinda fun to win. When they announce my name, I bend down like an Olympian to receive my medal. Hum, a girl can get used to this! But first let's go to Steinmart because the $20 gift certificate I won as a door prize is burning a whole in my sweaty pocket and if you're (I'm) lucky I might even wear my medal!

A Kindergartener, Two Birthdays, and a few Flashbacks

Life moves uncomfortably fast sometimes. Can't I just stop it still and say hang on, I'm not done here? This family has hit some milestones. First, Avery turned 2 and that same day we got to meet Will's Kindergarten teacher. Second, Will started kindergarten followed by his first concussion and visit to the ER on the second day of school, he missed the third...and I was ready to pull him out and throw him in any private school that had SMALL class sizes, naptime, and under 20K a year. Third, Will turned six and if kindergarten didn't make him grow up fast enough being SIX will.

I'd like to think I'm a spring chicken, that I walked out of college with a baby on my hip, closely followed by another baby, and Dave right by my side cheering the team on. Somehow, and not so slowly my babies are big. One wakes up, showers, makes breakfast, looks over some books, and commutes on the big yellow bus. The other hangs around the house saying "I do that myself" or most painful "Leave me alone" when she wants to play by herself. And a cower over the corner to cry.

As a mother I should be happy to foster independence, I really should... but it's so hard to let go and have them face the world alone. I know I'm not in control. "I do it myself" takes over and I'm left to worry. But, mostly I fear that the happiness and innocence of youth will disappear and I'm left with disgruntled teenagers who hate me and want to get the hell out. I know, I've got a few years, but the go so fast. Tomorrow will I forget Will's giggly laugh and sensitivity? Will his sweet and compassionate heart disappear? And Avery, I loved her one-ness. For the love of goodness, she's only two, but she is already on her way to thirteen. She rolls her eyes at me (you, too Jana!!!) and says that's cool, dude - I'll admit she is not the people pleaser Will is, and if you say hi to her she might just bite, but when you've won her over, you are as good as gold. Anyway, I'm defining and I shouldn't be, but it is what it is. And so is this growing up business. I'm gonna have to toughen up, carry the memories, and push forward to the finish line - and you better not trip me!

Okay, so after this mess, I have more: tonight we're packing the car for a trip to Dallas. Dave and I are attending my 10 year high school reunion. I've worked hard to avoid anyone from high school (minus the best friends) but tomorrow I'm throwing myself into a crowd of them to play catch up (are you fat?, rich?, married?, ect.) but it gives Dave and I a few good nights out together (with the kids who are growing up too fast home with the Grandparents) and what a better reason to celebrate!