Life moves uncomfortably fast sometimes. Can't I just stop it still and say hang on, I'm not done here? This family has hit some milestones. First, Avery turned 2 and that same day we got to meet Will's Kindergarten teacher. Second, Will started kindergarten followed by his first concussion and visit to the ER on the second day of school, he missed the third...and I was ready to pull him out and throw him in any private school that had SMALL class sizes, naptime, and under 20K a year. Third, Will turned six and if kindergarten didn't make him grow up fast enough being SIX will.
I'd like to think I'm a spring chicken, that I walked out of college with a baby on my hip, closely followed by another baby, and Dave right by my side cheering the team on. Somehow, and not so slowly my babies are big. One wakes up, showers, makes breakfast, looks over some books, and commutes on the big yellow bus. The other hangs around the house saying "I do that myself" or most painful "Leave me alone" when she wants to play by herself. And a cower over the corner to cry.
As a mother I should be happy to foster independence, I really should... but it's so hard to let go and have them face the world alone. I know I'm not in control. "I do it myself" takes over and I'm left to worry. But, mostly I fear that the happiness and innocence of youth will disappear and I'm left with disgruntled teenagers who hate me and want to get the hell out. I know, I've got a few years, but the go so fast. Tomorrow will I forget Will's giggly laugh and sensitivity? Will his sweet and compassionate heart disappear? And Avery, I loved her one-ness. For the love of goodness, she's only two, but she is already on her way to thirteen. She rolls her eyes at me (you, too Jana!!!) and says that's cool, dude - I'll admit she is not the people pleaser Will is, and if you say hi to her she might just bite, but when you've won her over, you are as good as gold. Anyway, I'm defining and I shouldn't be, but it is what it is. And so is this growing up business. I'm gonna have to toughen up, carry the memories, and push forward to the finish line - and you better not trip me!
Okay, so after this mess, I have more: tonight we're packing the car for a trip to Dallas. Dave and I are attending my 10 year high school reunion. I've worked hard to avoid anyone from high school (minus the best friends) but tomorrow I'm throwing myself into a crowd of them to play catch up (are you fat?, rich?, married?, ect.) but it gives Dave and I a few good nights out together (with the kids who are growing up too fast home with the Grandparents) and what a better reason to celebrate!
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2 comments:
hope you have fun! you will look like a million, that's for sure. did you rent the lexus we were taling about? Forever 21!!!
I am afraid i probably taught her the eyes rolling trick...at least you were brave enough to go to your reunion :-)
They have to grow up and hopefully you will have more success with the teen years then i am having :-(
love ya snow white
j
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